Timely as usual, Charity. This week Joe and I connected with former students, former colleagues, college friends, and campers (whaaat??) as we traveled through IN, IL, and WI. It is interesting to add group memories to the mix. We had sweet times and a lot of laughter as we reconstructed events and times of past teaching and coaching and working at camp. I said it was like 'nudging memories from the recesses.' Some were buried so deep, I could only get a sense that the event in question happened--like the engagement luncheon Joe and I had with his student assistant of 4 years at Moody. She and her present husband remembered it vividly, but then, it was their engagement not ours! In one situation I was fearful I had affected a camper negatively. She assured me that was not the case. Sometimes we get to clear up a faulty memory. Thanks for triggering more thoughts on this.
I love the idea that remembering "with" others can do more than remembering alone. Your two examples are particularly poignant: Some add details we never retained or have lost; still others clear up faulty memories. That same thing happened in my presence just yesterday. I was with three of my aunts and a cousin, and I sat listening to them remember what life was like when they were children. Several times, one or the other said, "I never knew that" or "that's not how I remembered it." And their patience as I asked questions about Mom's childhood or things I couldn't remember that I'm sure she'd told me helped me feel welcomed into the story of our family.
"When we look back on the past and see only what was good there, we risk the siren call of nostalgia that can shipwreck the present with its pretty lyrics about how wonderful things used to be." Wonderful sentence!
Remembering is a work of discipline. You captured it so well here. It is hard to separate out facts from perception and then either diss associating from the pain or feel only the hurt.
Remembering is powerful, but it can lead us to unhealthy places. It seems we need more spiritual guidance, discussion and exploration about this instinctive, habitual, nearly unconscious practice that shapes us so much more than we realize. I love that you wrote about it.
In fact, I love you!!
"I cannot live with the memories, yet I cannot live without them." Quote from grief book I stuck in my journal.
Maybe the key is bringing both hard and pleasant memories to Jesus in our remembering, placing Him within the memory to reconstruct both healing and a sense of God's sovereignty outside our self. To realize His presence with us there bringing comfort in pain and upward praise in nostalgia. From a counselor, i learned that as a tool to keep from reliving trauma over and over. For time doesn't heal in and of itself.
These are such wise and hard-won comments, my friend. Remembering can be such hard work ... and the hard and painful memories can wound over and over again. I love your suggested practices of bringing our memories to Jesus and also inviting Jesus into our memories, seeing how he was with us all along.
And boy, that phrase about time as an inadequate or incomplete healer ... that is so true. Sometimes, time gives us an impression of healing that may not actually be real or complete.
Thank you for these thoughts, Bess. They add so much.
I was examining my heart on an issue this week. I seem to only remember the good in a certain situation. Was I holding it up as an ideal to meet some need in my life or protect a wound that seem to fester? A few days went by and I knew I needed a reality check. I wrote out memories that were not perfect in regards to that circumstance. When I opened that door, other memories came to mind. It was needed. It helped settle some things in my spirit and I moved through an issue that I was stuck on.
I love how you pushed yourself to remember more ... and more fully ... as a way to accept your circumstances now. I think our memories can be such helpful tools if we are able to harness them safely and reliably. I know some people's memories can be really damaging to them.
Timely as usual, Charity. This week Joe and I connected with former students, former colleagues, college friends, and campers (whaaat??) as we traveled through IN, IL, and WI. It is interesting to add group memories to the mix. We had sweet times and a lot of laughter as we reconstructed events and times of past teaching and coaching and working at camp. I said it was like 'nudging memories from the recesses.' Some were buried so deep, I could only get a sense that the event in question happened--like the engagement luncheon Joe and I had with his student assistant of 4 years at Moody. She and her present husband remembered it vividly, but then, it was their engagement not ours! In one situation I was fearful I had affected a camper negatively. She assured me that was not the case. Sometimes we get to clear up a faulty memory. Thanks for triggering more thoughts on this.
I love the idea that remembering "with" others can do more than remembering alone. Your two examples are particularly poignant: Some add details we never retained or have lost; still others clear up faulty memories. That same thing happened in my presence just yesterday. I was with three of my aunts and a cousin, and I sat listening to them remember what life was like when they were children. Several times, one or the other said, "I never knew that" or "that's not how I remembered it." And their patience as I asked questions about Mom's childhood or things I couldn't remember that I'm sure she'd told me helped me feel welcomed into the story of our family.
"When we look back on the past and see only what was good there, we risk the siren call of nostalgia that can shipwreck the present with its pretty lyrics about how wonderful things used to be." Wonderful sentence!
Thank you!
Remembering is a work of discipline. You captured it so well here. It is hard to separate out facts from perception and then either diss associating from the pain or feel only the hurt.
Remembering is powerful, but it can lead us to unhealthy places. It seems we need more spiritual guidance, discussion and exploration about this instinctive, habitual, nearly unconscious practice that shapes us so much more than we realize. I love that you wrote about it.
In fact, I love you!!
"I cannot live with the memories, yet I cannot live without them." Quote from grief book I stuck in my journal.
Maybe the key is bringing both hard and pleasant memories to Jesus in our remembering, placing Him within the memory to reconstruct both healing and a sense of God's sovereignty outside our self. To realize His presence with us there bringing comfort in pain and upward praise in nostalgia. From a counselor, i learned that as a tool to keep from reliving trauma over and over. For time doesn't heal in and of itself.
These are such wise and hard-won comments, my friend. Remembering can be such hard work ... and the hard and painful memories can wound over and over again. I love your suggested practices of bringing our memories to Jesus and also inviting Jesus into our memories, seeing how he was with us all along.
And boy, that phrase about time as an inadequate or incomplete healer ... that is so true. Sometimes, time gives us an impression of healing that may not actually be real or complete.
Thank you for these thoughts, Bess. They add so much.
Interesting thought and timely. Thank you.
I was examining my heart on an issue this week. I seem to only remember the good in a certain situation. Was I holding it up as an ideal to meet some need in my life or protect a wound that seem to fester? A few days went by and I knew I needed a reality check. I wrote out memories that were not perfect in regards to that circumstance. When I opened that door, other memories came to mind. It was needed. It helped settle some things in my spirit and I moved through an issue that I was stuck on.
I love how you pushed yourself to remember more ... and more fully ... as a way to accept your circumstances now. I think our memories can be such helpful tools if we are able to harness them safely and reliably. I know some people's memories can be really damaging to them.